


After

by ElectricBlueGirl



Series: Love In Isolation [5]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M, alternative universe, hopefully lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:13:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25288123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElectricBlueGirl/pseuds/ElectricBlueGirl
Summary: A companion piece to Love In Isolation.A year on from the start of lockdown, Ben and Callum finally enjoy a trip to the seaside.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: Love In Isolation [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1814578
Comments: 33
Kudos: 86





	After

**Author's Note:**

> I've been thinking for a long time about what I wanted to say to express my complete gratitude to everyone who has read this series but I honestly can't find words that could ever be enough. Thank you, thank you, thank you - you have done more for me than I could ever say.
> 
> This is the last of Callum's POV one shots (it contains minor spoilers for those who haven't read Love In Isolation) and I'm a bit sad that I won't regularly be writing about them in this universe anymore. I've had a couple of requests and have a small idea of my own for little scenes that fit into their story and I may write those but they will most likely be short ficlets rather than anything else. If I write things like that and feel they're worth posting then I will absolutely do that at some point in the future if anyone is still interested. I'm also about to start working on a new story which I'm hoping to start posting around September time. 
> 
> But for now, thank you so much for reading this series and......
> 
> Enjoy and stay safe :)

**After  
  
  
  
  
**

“Left a bit. A bit more. Now back a bit – "

“Ben, you’re putting me off!”

“I’m helping! And you need all the help you can get! Remind me, how many attempts is this?”

Callum rolls his eyes but keeps his focus ahead, ignoring Ben and his comments which aren't remotely helpful in the slightest and moving the joystick backwards a little before pressing the button. The crane drops, it’s claws wrapping around the head of a stuffed toy and lifting, lifting, lifting until the weight of it becomes too much and it slips out of the claws grasp and falls back amongst the pile of all the others.

“Oh, bad luck!” Ben says from beside him, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

Callum watches in vain as the crane moves towards the front of the machine and the claws open around nothing but air. He digs into his pocket for spare change but Ben is quick to tug at his arm.

“No,” he says firmly.

“But maybe next time time – "

“Callum, you’ve said that three times now. With the amount of money you’ve spent on this thing I could’ve bought you a damn cuddly toy!”

Callum sighs but he knows Ben is right and perhaps a sixth attempt at winning a stuffed toy would be pushing it a bit. He allows the younger man to pull him away from the machine, out of the arcade doors and back onto the street. If he's being completely honest with himself, it’s not really about the toy anyway. He’ll be thirty years old next week and as he will have no use for it, it will inevitably end up at the back of a cupboard somewhere, forgotten about until he one day decides to have a clear out. So no, it's not about the toy itself, it’s about trying to fill the gaps from his childhood, do the things he missed out on when he was young.  
  
He’s only been to the seaside a handful of times in his life. He remembers his Dad taking him on the odd occasion as he had been growing up, taking him around the arcades and then leaving Callum to entertain himself whilst he disappeared to chat up the young women who worked in the kiosks or gambled his money away on the slot machines.  
  
Callum liked to walk amongst all the different machines. He would search the carpets for loose change that had been dropped or feel his way around the machines in the hopes that money would be lying in the bottom of them, left behind by whoever had been there before. Some arcades were more fruitful than others and he would hold the pennies he had found in his hand deciding which game he should use them on. He had never wanted to carelessly waste them, knowing that once they were gone they were gone, so he would spend long lengths of time deciding upon which arcade machine would bring him the most joy. Sometimes he would get down to his last penny and hold onto it for so long that he ended up not using it at all, instead going home with his hands still holding onto it and smelling of copper. Other times he would stand at the glass of the machines and watch as the penny pushers moved backwards and forwards, hoping that the coins would drop without him having to do anything. He was never very lucky when it came to that though.  
  
He liked arcades. They seemed to bring so much delight to people’s faces and he would watch as families laughed together, children his age running across the floor to get to another machine. But as much as he liked them he couldn’t help but feel he was missing out on the fun, wishing he could be a part of other people's worlds.  
  
The claw machine, for example, was one he had never been able to play on when he had been younger. He had never been able to come across the correct change he needed to play and instead he’d stand by and watch as others did. Sometimes they were successful but most often they weren’t and Callum wondered what would happen if he could just try. What would winning something actually feel like? Not that his father would have allowed him to play such a game. Stuffed animals and teddy bears were for babies and _"you're not a big baby, are you Callum?"_ He shudders at the memory.  
  
Today is the first time in his life he’s been able to play on the claw machine and despite not winning, he has enjoyed every minute of it anyway. And as much as Ben likes to have a moan, Callum knows he’s having just as much fun.  
  
Pulling out a bottle of hand sanitiser from his coat pocket, he nudges Ben who puts his hand out expectantly. Callum squeezes some of the gel onto his palm before doing the same on his own. He’s much more wary of everything now than he was before the pandemic and still carries hand sanitiser with him everywhere he goes. Ben is long past telling Callum he needn’t be so cautious, not that Callum would listen to him anyway.  
  
“So, what do you want to do now?” Ben asks as they walk along the wet pavements. He tucks his hand underneath Callum’s arm, fingers curling around his biceps, and Callum moves to trap them against his side right next to the steady beating of his heart.  
  
Callum thinks, scanning the street ahead for ideas. It’s March and there’s a cold chill in the air but the rain has stopped since they first made their way into the arcade leaving a freshness in its place. Looking around for inspiration, his eyes settle on something in the distance.  
  
“I want to go on that!” he says excitedly, pointing towards the large ferris wheel he can see towering over the fun fair ahead of them.  
  
Ben laughs from beside him, bumping their hips together as he does. “You are such a big kid!”  
  
“Hmm, wonder where I get that from?”  
  
“Oi! And to think I was about to suggest we get doughnuts to take on it with us but if you don’t want any I’ll just eat them all myself.”  
  
Callum’s eyes widen at the thought of doughnuts, his mouth already watering. “No, I do, I do!” he grins, smiling even more when Ben laughs again and squeezes his arm gently.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Ten minutes later they find themselves crammed into the seats of the ferris wheel. The cold metal of the box surrounding them causes Ben to shiver and Callum smiles when he huddles even closer under the guise of trying to keep warm. The wind blows through their hair and Callum feels a jolt of excitement as the wheel starts to turn and they rise higher and higher into the sky.  
  
Reaching into the paper bag Ben is holding, he pulls out a doughnut and bites into it, sighing happily as the sugar tingles on his tongue. Looking out at the view he thinks about how beautiful it is despite such a grey and rainy day and he watches as the people below get smaller and smaller as they get further away.  
  
“Look Ben, we can see for miles!” he shouts as he looks out at the long stretch of the beach and what he thinks must be ships out at sea.  
  
He turns again to look at Ben and is surprised to find Ben’s eyes on him, a soft smile on his face.  
  
“What?”  
  
Ben’s smile grows. “Not really the view I’m interested in babe." He pauses for a moment and then says, "Seeing you today, watching you all excited and giddy and seeing the way your eyes light up…….You’re beautiful, you know that?”  
  
Callum feels himself blush at that, still not used to Ben’s compliments even though they have been together for ten months now.  
  
“Well,” he responds, feeling shy all of a sudden, “I wouldn’t be able to do this if it weren’t for you. No one else would’ve come with me and there’s no one else I’d have wanted to come with.” He links his arm through Ben’s, wanting to feel even closer to him despite already being huddled together. No amount of closeness could ever be enough. “I know this isn’t how you imagined it to be but I’m so glad we’re here. I’m so glad you came.”  
  
It had been Callum’s idea to come to the seaside. It had been the first thing he had wanted to do after lockdown was over but life had had other ideas. As lockdown had eased, the beaches had filled up and drawn crowds of people in and Callum had decided that it just wouldn’t be safe enough to go. Even as the weather had turned colder and Winter had fallen upon them, he still hadn’t felt it would be safe enough and so they had agreed to wait until a better time.  
  
It was only because the weather forecast had predicted unseasonably good weather for the weekend that they had decided now would be the best time. Only when they had woken up that morning, they had opened their curtains to find raindrops pouring down the window panes and dark clouds in the sky overhead.  
  
But Callum had set himself up for it and Ben had seen the disappointment on his face and insisted they go anyway. But they hadn’t been able to drive down the motorway with the windows open and the sun shining on their faces as Ben had always imagined they would and Callum hopes he’s not regretting them coming. He hopes their trip hasn't been a disappointment in comparison to the one Ben had pictured in his mind.  
  
“No, it’s not how I imagined,” Ben says. “But we’ve sort of had our first road trip haven’t we? And we’re making memories, yeah?”  
  
Callum nods in agreement and smiles. Ben smiles back, the corners of his eyes crinkling, and then he’s leaning forward, pressing his lips against Callum’s own for a brief moment and it's enough to erase any doubt. When he breaks away, he rests his head on Callum’s shoulder and Callum smiles once more, looking out at the view again and feeling thankful that this has become his life.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


They go and buy sticks of rock after that. Ben is amazed by all the different flavours and tries to decide which ones to get whilst Callum walks along the aisle picking up several as he goes.  
  
“How many do you want exactly?” Ben asks, laughing as he sees the bundle Callum has in his hands.  
  
“We’ve got to take some back for Lola and Jay haven’t we? Can’t come to the seaside without taking anything back.”  
  
Ben raises an eyebrow at that but says nothing.  
  
“And then there’s Whit. I got one for her. And what about Mick and Linda? Should I buy for them?”  
  
Sighing, Ben takes hold of his hand and drags him towards the counter.  
  
“Has anyone ever told you you’re too nice for your own good?”  
  
Callum rolls his eyes, a smile tugging at his mouth. “They’re just sticks of rock.”  
  
“With that attitude you’ll be buying them for the whole of Walford next.”  
  
The woman behind the counter looks at them as they approach, an amused expression growing on her face the more they talk back and forth. Callum puts the colourful rock down for the woman to scan.  
  
“Day visit is it?” she asks as she scans the items before putting them in a bag.  
  
“Yeah,” Ben responds. “Mind you, you’d think this one’s never been to the seaside before with how excited he’s been today.”  
  
“I’m having fun!" he protests.  
  
Ben leans in and kisses his cheek whispering, “Me too babe,” into his ear causing Callum to blush.  
  
The cashier smiles at them and passes the paper bag over to Callum who hands over his money in exchange.  
  
It’s nice to see other people’s reactions to them. In the time he and Ben have been in a relationship, Callum has grown more and more confident in himself, no longer ashamed to hide who he is. Occasionally one of the voices in his head will present itself and will tell him it’s wrong to be gay but he’s learned now that they’re just the words of his father trying to trap him and drag him backwards. They’re easy to ignore because he knows now that they’re not true – they never were true. What he and Ben have is beautiful and he’ll happily show that to the world.  
  
He remembers Jay and Lola’s reactions when they had found out about the two of them. It was early June and Ben had somehow managed to keep it quiet, despite Jay apparently calling him out on his extremely happy mood whenever they were in work. But Ben had promised they would continue to go at Callum’s pace which Callum had been thankful for.  
  
Even after he had admitted aloud to being gay, even though he had wanted to shout his love for Ben from the rooftops, he was still wary about telling other people, worried about what they might think of him for keeping it a secret for so long. But it wasn’t just that. He had wanted to tell people in person, just as he had with Whitney. And so they had waited until meeting up with Jay and Lola had been possible and Callum had told them the news then. They had both been delighted to hear it, especially Lola who considered them to be a match made in heaven, and how happy she was that Callum had been able to find himself. Callum had worried about all the questions they may have but they had just been so pleased for the two of them.  
  
It had given Callum the encouragement he needed to tell Mick and Linda, and later his brother Stuart, and each time he told someone else he grew evermore confident in himself.  
  
And now the woman behind the counter is smiling at them like she’s happy for them too and he feels so lucky that he has this; this special thing that is his and Ben’s and theirs alone.  
  
Thanking the woman and giving her a little wave, he takes Ben’s hand in his and leads them out of the shop, feeling the way Ben squeezes it gently as they go. It’s something they do now whenever they hold hands – a gentle squeeze in acknowledgement that it’s just the two of them in their own little bubble. It makes something fizz inside of him each and every time. He smiles and squeezes back.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The beach is almost empty apart from a few families in the distance and people walking their dogs. Callum looks out at the sea, rough waves crashing against the shore as the wind picks up and the rain starts falling again. They’re both cold and damp but Callum has decided that this is quite possibly one of the best days of his life.  
  
Callum smiles at Ben beside him who is already tucking into his tray of chips. He thinks back to that day almost a year ago now when he had first suggested they come to the seaside. It seems so long ago and so much has happened in that time.  
  
“Penny for them?” Ben asks, glancing across at him as he puts another chip into his mouth.  
  
“I’m just thinking, who would have thought a year ago that we’d be sitting here now, eating fish and chips in this cave and freezing our toes off from the cold.”  
  
Ben chuckles. “Well firstly, neither of us have got fish so I don’t know even know what you’re on about, and secondly, I don’t think you could consider this a cave if I’m honest.”  
  
Callum looks up at the opening in the cliffs they have managed to find shelter in and perhaps it’s not a real cave but it certainly looks like it could make a great den for children to play in during the summer months and a great shelter for boyfriends who are getting wet through from the rain pelting down in the winter months.  
  
“And thirdly,” Ben adds, apparently not finished, “The only thing you should be concerned about is us both freezing our knackers off!”  
  
“We definitely wouldn’t want that would we?”  
  
Ben winks at him before turning back to his chips. They’re quiet for a moment, a peace settling around them. After a minute or two, Ben asks, “Is that something you’re thinking about? This time last year?”  
  
Callum shrugs. “I guess I’ve been thinking about it a bit today, yeah. It’s almost been a year since you and me…….” He trails off. He’s not sure when they would consider their one year anniversary to be. It’s not something they have ever talked about. But in his own mind, the day they had first kissed will always hold meaning to him – it was, after all, the day that lead them to where they are now.  
  
“I think about it sometimes,” Ben admits. “Look, I’m no good with words and stuff but you’re everything to me, you know that, right?” Callum nods because he does. “And I think back to last year and where we were then and where we are now and we’ve come so far, _you’ve_ come so far, and I know how lucky I am that’s all.”  
  
“I’m the lucky one. If it weren’t for you I’d still be running from myself now.”  
  
“You’re stronger than you think. I reckon you’d have got there one day.”  
  
Callum isn’t sure he agrees with that but he knows Ben doesn’t like to take the credit for how far he has come in his journey. If it wasn’t for Ben he would most likely be still living a lie now, living with Whitney, maybe even married to her, and not giving her the love that she deserved. He would have spent his entire life in denial, he’s sure of it.  
  
Instead, he’s here now and creating a life with Ben, something wonderful that he knows will continue to get better and better as the years go by. And Whitney has the chance to do the same as well, maybe with Nathan if how happy she is when she talks about him is anything to go by. Callum has yet to meet me the man, but Whitney has been dating him for a couple of months now and although she claims it’s not serious, the way her face lights up at the mention of his name tells Callum all he needs to know.  
  
He and Whitney are getting a little closer again too. It has taken a long time and it had been especially difficult at the beginning when the pubs had reopened and they had found themselves working the same shifts until Linda had found out about the break up and promptly made sure they rarely saw each other. Whitney had handed in her notice not long after that and Callum had felt guilty that he was the reason she had left until he’d found out weeks later that she was planning to run a market stall with all the clothes she had been designing and making.  
  
And then one day, just before Christmas, Whitney had asked him if he wanted to go for a coffee with her and he had jumped at the chance.  
  
“I just miss you, don’t I?” she had told him as they had sat in the corner of the café looking out at the shoppers as they passed by the window, laden with heavy bags ready for Christmas. “I don’t want us to end the year not talking.”  
  
And so that’s how it’s been ever since. They’re not completely back to being as close as they were but they see each other sometimes for coffee and have a laugh. It’s nice. It means the world to him that she’s still in his life.  
  
“Are you happy?” Ben asks him now, breaking him out of his thoughts.  
  
He smiles, feeling his heart burst in his chest when he says, “Yeah. So happy. You?”  
  
“I’m sitting on the beach with my gorgeous boyfriend eating salty chips – what more could I possibly want?”  
  
Callum can’t help it. He leans forward, pressing his lips gently against Ben’s, tasting salt and vinegar and something unique to Ben. He feels Ben smile into the kiss and breaks away, just far enough to whisper, “I love you.”  
  
“I love you too,” Ben responds quietly before they kiss again. He’s right; what more could they want?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“About bloody time!” Ben says loudly as the bright sun peaks out of the dark clouds from above. “Sods law that it comes out just as we’re going though isn’t it?”  
  
The rain has not long since stopped and they had decided to go back to the car before the next rain cloud has chance to burst, but now that the sun is shining, Callum doesn’t really want to leave.  
  
He stands, holding out a hand towards Ben to pull him up and says, “Come on, I reckon we can spare a bit of time.”  
  
“For what?” Ben asks, placing his hand in Callum’s and standing.  
  
“We need a picture don’t we? You and me at the seaside – our first trip away.”  
  
“First of many,” Ben beams.  
  
Callum hopes it is. This is the first time they have been anywhere as a couple having spent most of their relationship in or around Walford. Ben had been right earlier; they are making memories together and he hopes there can be many more of these trips to come. Maybe one day they could even go on holiday together, just the two of them with no interruptions. As difficult as lockdown had been, those final few weeks together before life had started getting in the way again had been like a dream. It had been him and Ben cocooned in their own little world and it had been something bordering on perfection. Every day he shares with Ben is a blessing but sometimes he can’t help but miss the endless days when he had the man all to himself.  
  
Pulling Ben down to the waters edge, Callum reaches for his phone and positions them with their backs to the sun which is breaking through the clouds and making the waves glisten with its light.  
  
“You’re such a sap,” Ben mutters, but he’s grinning as he says it.  
  
He’s heard Ben say this before. Callum is the one in their relationship who is always taking photos of the two of them. He likes the permanency of it – a moment fixed in time transporting him back whenever he chooses.  
  
“You love it,” he responds, wrapping an arm around Ben’s shoulders and pulling him into him. Holding the phone out in front of them, he makes sure they’re both on the screen and he sees Ben’s smile soften in the reflection. His heart flutters at the sight. It’s one of his favourite things about Ben; how soft he can sometimes be, how underneath all the bravado and the jokes and the large personality, Ben is gentle and warm and loving. This smile is one Callum knows only he gets to see and he feels so blessed that Ben has chosen him to show that side of himself.  
  
Callum takes the picture, pleased with the result. He tips the screen in Ben’s direction for him to see.  
  
“I reckon it’s one for the photo board that,” he says, looking down at it once more before locking the screen and putting the phone back in his pocket. Ben huffs out a laugh in response. “What?”  
  
“I was just remembering how you took over my house last year. Reorganising the place, moving all your stuff in a bit at a time like you didn’t think I’d notice.”  
  
Callum smiles at the memory of it. As soon as Ben had told him he could stay, he had made a start on bringing more and more of his things over from the flat. It had been a slow and steady process. He would go to the flat every time he went out of the house, bringing a little more back with him each time. He had started with the kitchen, insistent that Ben’s was lacking good quality appliances. Next he had brought over the majority of his clothes and filled the cupboards and drawers in the bedroom with them which had resulted in a conversation about which bedroom was going to be officially theirs, and over the course of a couple of months Callum continued to add more and more of his things.  
  
It wasn’t until he had brought over his photo board and found a place to hang it on a wall in the living room that Ben had called him out on what he was doing.  
  
“I don’t know why you don’t just bring everything over at once,” Ben had commented, perching on the armrest of the sofa and staring up at the photo board ahead of him. “It’d be a lot easier if we filled a car and brought it all over in one go.”  
  
“I wasn’t……I’m not……” Callum had fumbled, trying to deny what he had been doing. It wasn’t that he didn’t think he would be welcome. Ben had practically told him to move in on the day Callum had declared that he was his home. But they hadn’t really spoken about it after that in too much detail. Words like “Stay” and “Forever” and “Always” were bandied around but never questions of when or how and so Callum had taken it upon himself to slowly edge his way in assuming Ben wouldn’t even notice.  
  
But of course he had.  
  
“Yeah, you were,” he had teased before standing up from the sofa and moving across the room to him. He had put his arms around Callum then and said, “And I want you to. I want your stuff here. I know I moan a lot but I love seeing all of your things here. I love seeing _you_ here. And I want you and I want your stuff and I want this place to be ours. Mine _and_ yours.”  
  
And so Callum had promptly moved what was left of his things over to Ben’s house and moved out of the flat for good. And Ben’s house had soon become their house. They had made it so. And now here they are, almost a year later, carving a life for themselves. It’s so much more than Callum could have ever imagined for himself.  
  
Turning towards Ben, he reaches out, putting his hands on his waist and moving closer. And Ben meets him half way – he seems to always know when Callum is about to kiss him – and tugs at the material of his coat, pulling him forward and down, closer and closer until all Callum can feel is Ben’s lips on his and the sun starting to warm his cold bones and an array of thousands of tiny butterflies dancing in his stomach making him feel alive and loved.  
  
And when they finally part, Ben looks to him with a smile on his face and gently takes hold of his hand.  
  
“Let’s go home,” he says, turning and leading them in the direction of the sun.  
  
Callum smiles, squeezes Ben’s fingers in his and knows one thing for certain: he’ll follow Ben anywhere, because wherever Ben is he will always be home.


End file.
